“The simple truth is that if we are all honest, we make money decisions surrounded by emotions.”
YOUR MONEY ISN’T ABOUT THE NUMBERS, IT’S ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS
I used to think of myself as a very logical person when it came to money.
That is, until I started being brutally honest with myself later in life.
When I look back on every major purchase I’ve made (and even the minor ones) it wasn’t about logic. It was about emotions.
When I bought my first car, it wasn’t about the practicality of getting around. It was about showing off the fact that I had a new car!
I was determined to show the world that I had “made it” and that I was therefore somehow “somebody.” I ended up being somebody alright. Somebody who was cash poor with a base model car I really didn’t like.
In fact I grew to hate that car every time I had to write the check for the payment. I actually left the keys in it one night hoping it might be stolen! (Don’t tell my mom, okay?)
When I first used my credit card to take a girl out, it wasn’t so we could nourish our bodies. It was so I could impress her with the fact that I had an American Express card at the age of 19!
And let me tell, you I worked that card out that night. Funny thing, I never ended up with her. I guess a fool and his money (and the woman he spends it on) are soon parted. And I was back then a young fool. I wonder what ever became of her? Anyway…
The simple truth is that if we all are honest, we make money decisions surrounded by emotions. We hesitate to make financial decisions out of fear of making the wrong ones. We buy stuff even when every brain cell in our head is screaming “NO!” because we want to impress our peers about how we will look in it, on it or with it on us. That’s called a desire for approval, another emotional driver.
Face it, money decisions are highly emotional. That’s why they call it “personal finance.” It’s personal, never business.
That’s why trying to jam someone into a cookie cutter budget doesn’t work.
When you try to force your subconscious brain to do something that goes against its wiring, it will sabotage you and make sure you fail. That’s because our brains are designed to do one thing: protect us. And if making sure you fail at an intended course of action is what it takes, your brain will sabotage you all day, every day.
So how do you get your brain on board with your money decisions so that you finally win, instead of beating your head against the wall in frustration?
Your Money Mentality– The first thing you have to do is understand your money mentality. In other words, you have to answer these questions:
- Why do I relate to money the way I do?
- What experiences in my past have shaped my current views around money?
- What self-sabotaging, false money scripts are running in my head?
- What is my money personality?
Once you have the answers to these questions then you can begin to understand what triggers certain emotions when it comes to your personal money decisions.
- Are you seeking safety?
- Are you seeking approval?
- Are you seeking absolution?
These are all key drivers in the money decisions we make. And until we understand the answers to the above questions, we will keep repeating the mistakes of the past. But once we get the answers, we take the first step in getting our brain to buy into our money decisions.
Your Money Map– Once you have the mentality piece down, then you can move on to your map. Your map is, quite simply, your plan and your “why” to guide you along the path to your ultimate dream life.
A life filled with abundance in every way is what we all desire. But without a map to get you there, you will just wander along until you end up somewhere. Problem is, somewhere is never just where you want to be.
“Somewhere” is a place where you live where you don’t want to live, drive what you don’t want to drive, wear what you don’t want to wear and work where you don’t want to work. Does that sound like a place you want to arrive at?
On the other hand, with a map to guide you, you know where you are starting from and where you are going. You are actually “here,” not somewhere. Now you are living with intentionality. Decisions become much easier and the path becomes clearer.
Studies have shown that when people write down their goals, they are more likely to achieve them than those who don’t. In fact, recent studies have shown only 3% of the population have goals at all and only 1% actually write them down with a plan to go get them. Are you starting to understand why we have a super-successful 1%? I guess you could say that the ones who wrote down their goals were living with intentionality.
So, you need a map that lays out your ultimate destination, goals along the way that are like rungs on a ladder and action steps to move you up the ladder at a steady pace. When you have all those pieces, you can’t help but arrive at the destination you design, not the one someone else has in store for you.
Finally, you need your “WHY.” The why is what drives you along when the going gets tough. Your why is the thing that makes you tell yourself “no” like an adult, instead of indulging every last childish purchasing decision you may have.
Once your WHY is burned into your brain, your subconscious starts to buy into your plan. Now you’re cooking with gas!
Your Money Mechanics– Once you have the first two pieces in place, the last piece is easy. Everyone has a basic knowledge of the do’s and don’ts of money. Just the way you know what food is good for you and bad for you, you have a pretty good idea of what money moves are good and which ones are bad for your future.
Once you understand your money personality and your destination, along with your burning why, following the steps of day-to-day money management like spending, saving, investing, managing credit wisely, etc. become exciting actually, because you know every decision you make is moving you closer to that thing you really desire: Your Dream Life of Abundance!
That’s why I approach money coaching differently. Because that’s what I had to do to finally get a hold on the person in the mirror. And I’m no better, or worse, than you. So, what worked for me will work for you too if you just follow the things I did. The smart things, that is.
If you want to know how to put these three pieces together in a way that fits you personally, contact me for a free discovery session. I can help you figure it out and take the pain out of money so you don’t make the same dumb mistakes I made.
Remember, no one is coming to save you. Save yourself. Be your own money hero!
Now, whatever really happened to that girl…?